i’m a girl full of insecurities. i have a low self-esteem and i tend to over think things, like what people think of me, what would be their reaction if i say something.
i really hate making myself pitiful for thinking too much.
i know i don’t have to care about what other people say, and just do what i want.
but how am i going to do that, if i grew up having a lot of people around me who always say something about certain things.
i feel heavy. i feel insecure.
i’m not good at dealing with other people but i try my best to be friendly.
but it seems like, people don’t really like me for who i am, rather because of what i have? i don’t really want to judge them but this is how i really feel.
i only know few people who actually likes spending time with me, because they enjoy it. and not because i gave them or treat them with food or whatever.
i want to get rid of this feeling, and to live by being cheerful.
i want to be happy.
i don’t want to be sad. but i always make myself sad.
overthinking too much.
i have a fear of being shamed. i don’t wanna be embarrassed especially in front of a lot of people.
if i can stick to being a wallpaper, i would be glad.
but sometimes, spending time alone also makes you feel lonely.
like there’s always something missing.
especially now that christmas time is near…
i always dream of spending holidays with a special someone, but after all these years, it never came true.
that special someone still hasn’t come to my life.
or he already came but i was too busy to notice. =(
/just getting these things out of my head.
random thoughts pa more!